


Second Star to the Right and Straight Past the Gallows

by delazeur



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: April Fools' Day, Because Pirates are Sexy, Crack, Crossover, Dialogue-Only, Drabble, Fenris enjoys the attention really, Multi, Pirates, Sorry Not Sorry, The Jolly Roger can go anywhere, This saved the author from the mopes, Total Nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 20:57:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1402195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delazeur/pseuds/delazeur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as a text-message gift on April Fools' Day with the crack pairing of Captain Hook from Once Upon a Time and Fenris from Dragon Age II. </p><p>The Jolly Roger can sail between realms, which means that today Hook winds up in Kirkwall, having drinks and swapping stories with Varric, Isabela, and the broody elf.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Star to the Right and Straight Past the Gallows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Feanor_in_leather_pants](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feanor_in_leather_pants/gifts).



Varric: [taking notes] So the hand. How’d you lose it? 

Hook: There was a woman… 

Varric: Isn’t there always? 

Hook: Well, not _always_. Sometimes there’s a man. Occasionally there’s a fairy.”

Varric: Or an elf? 

Fenris: ... 

Hook: This is the first realm that I’ve sailed to that had elves worth casting a glance at. 

Fenris: In your… realm they are seen as less than humans? In much of Thedas that is also true. 

Hook: Not exactly, mate. They’re short. Squeaky. Live inside hollow trees or make shoes in the middle of the night. They certainly don’t… glisten. 

Fenris: I see that pirates are the same in all realms. 

Hook: I think we’d need to undergo a more thorough inspection of the fittings to make that determination. 

Isabela: Oh, I like this plan. 

Fenris: It is lewd. 

Isabela: [sideeyes Fenris] Well, I did say I _liked_ it. 

Varric: [taking more notes] So, let me try out a title, Rivaini… The Captains’ Mate? Two ships, one heart, an elf lost on the storm-tossed seas of passion. 

Fenris: I am more than capable of finding myself in possession of more than one heart, dwarf.”

Varric: And it always comes back to the fisting. 

Hook & Isabela together: Mm, fisting.

**Author's Note:**

> Feanor_in_leather_pants is my brain-beta, and so this is really her fault.


End file.
